And Under Your Roof

As you read this, the organized Jewish community is busily compiling its millennial American Jewish Population Survey, trying to find out just what this community looks like and cares about. If the last survey, from 1990, is any indication, several key areas of our experience will go uninvestigated: familial relationships, domestic labor, feminism in Judaism—and other subjects that help reveal important things about the texture of our lives. With this survey, we hope to understand those areas better, and to reflect your experiences. So when the papers run the “story of the American Jewish community,” LILITH, with your responses, will be able to tell the rest of the story.

Why answer these questions? First and foremost, because the Jewish community’s studies generally don’t ask about gender and about our closest relationships. This is the chance to have your choices and experiences be counted. We’ll publish our collective portrait in an upcoming issue. And of course your responses will help us to publish about the topics you care about most….

While we’ve tried to reflect many life choices below, we know you have others on your mind. Please feel free to take up the margin space to let us know how you really feel. And when you’re done—this is key—seal it up and send it back. Thanks, and our best wishes for a liberating century!

Domestic Lives & Labor

1. In addition to myself, my household consists of:
relation          age
__________   _____
__________   _____
__________   _____
__________   _____
__________   _____
__________   _____

2. If you have children, who would you say has the most responsibility for them?
I do
My partner does
Someone else does
n/a (not applicable)

3. Among your children, are there those who are
Biological
Adopted
Foster children
n/a

4. Did you undergo fertility treatments in order to have children?
yes
no
n/a

5. Have you ever given a child up for adoption?
yes
no
n/a

6. Are you responsible for the care of an elderly person?
yes
no
Relationship? __________

7. Has your immediate family been affected by someone’s having responsibility for an older person?
yes
no
n/a

8. Which of these statements best describe your relationship with food (check all that apply)
I am always dieting
I diet frequently
I worry about what I eat
I read labels on packaged foods for content
I can describe everything I have eaten in the past 5 days
I eat healthfully
I eat whatever I want
I keep kosher

9. Who in your household usually
                                       I do   partner   both of us   child   parent   other   no one   it varies
shops for groceries
makes meals
serves the meal
clears the table
says Kiddush
lights Shabbat candles
pays the bills
plans family vacations
calls the babysitter
calls the relatives
makes social plans

Up Close and Personal

10. Relationship status
married/committed
single, never married
single, divorced
widowed
remarried
other
n/a

11. Is this the relationship status you wish to have at this time?
yes
no
n/a

12. Are you satisfied with your current relationship status
Sexually?                                 yes   no   n/a
Financially?                              yes   no   n/a
Intellectually?                           yes   no   n/a
In terms of domestic labor?     yes   no   n/a

13. Do you identify as
lesbian/gay
heterosexual
bisexual
other __________

14. If you are in a relationship, right now, is your partner Jewish?
yes
no

15. How did you meet your current partner?
at synagogue
at a Jewish holiday celebration
at a Jewish singles event
at another kind of singles event
through friends
in college
through a dating service/personal ad
at a bar
other __________

16. If you are single right now, do you date
only Jews
preferably Jews
religion doesn’t matter
preferably someone outside my religion

17. Which of these statements, if any best reflects your feelings about marrying a Jewish man or a Jewish woman:
“I’d rather not.”
“I’d like to marry Jewish but I’m happy dating ‘out.'”
“If I could only find one…”
“My parents would be thrilled!”
n/a
__________

18. At what age did you first have (if applicable)
sexual intercourse _____
a wedding _____
a baby _____

19. If you were to get married this week, would you change your last name to that of your partner?
yes
no
n/a

Spirit and Celebration

20. I’ve participated in these women-oriented Jewish activities:
                                                          regularly   sporadically   once or twice   never
Rosh Chodesh group
Women’s tefillah group
All-women’s Torah study
Mikveh
Simchat Chochma/Croning
    Ceremony/Ceremony of Wisdom
Feminist seder
Menarche ceremony
Weaning ceremony
Simchat Bat
A healing ceremony

21. In which other Jewish activities do you regularly participate (check all that apply)
light Shabbat candles
go to synagogue on the High Holidays
belong to a synagogue
attend synagogue more than once a month
make a Passover seder
lead a Passover seder
build a sukkah
practice Jewish meditation
study Jewish texts alone, in a group or at a school
Jewish cultural activities
Israeli dancing
pray regularly alone
give charity
visit the sick/bikkur cholim
read Lilith
other __________

22. My synagogue service of choice is/would be:
Orthodox
Conservative
traditional egalitarian
Reform
Reconstructionist
Renewal
non-affiliated congregation
havurah
other __________

23. Is Judaism your religion of birth?
yes
no

24. Do you participate in the religious ceremonies or worship of other faiths?
yes
no

25. If yes, which religion(s)
______________________________

26. I would describe the gender balance in leadership at my synagogue as
too male-dominated
too female-dominated
just right
n/a

27. I would describe the gender balance in ritual participation at my synagogue as
too male-dominated
too female-dominated
just right
n/a

28. In my worship/observance I (check all that apply):
wear a kippah
wear a tallit
wear tefillin
read Torah
have an aliyah
say kaddish (when appropriate)
attend an egalitarian synagogue/minyan

29. Last year LILITH ran an article entitled “Shabbat Without Shopping Carts” about a super-mom who designed her own sabbath rules. If you could create your own Shabbat, what three “freedoms from…” or “freedoms to…” would make it most restful for you?
______________________________

30. Which of the following groups do you think need more attention from Jewish communities and synagogues? (check all that apply)
the sick or bed-ridden
the disabled
single parents
childless singls
gays and lesbians
elders
children
teenage boys
teenage girls
men
women
other __________

31. Some people set out a cup of Miriam or an orange on their seder plate as a symbol of women’s renewed place in Judaism. Do you have either?
yes
no
n/a

32. Who is a female biblical figure who comes to mind as a POSITIVE character?
__________

33. Who is a female biblical figure who comes to mind as a NEGATIVE character?
__________

34. Who is a biblical character (of any gender!) with whom you identify?
__________

35. Would your high school friends consider you more religious than you were growing up?
yes
no
n/a

36. Are you raising your children (or planning to raise them) as Jewish?
yes
no
n/a

Girls Girls Girls

During this year, LILITH is launching a project on Jewish American girlhood. We would like to know your thoughts…

37. When you were a girl, which of the following were positive formative experiences for you as a Jew?
Hebrew school
Jewish summer camp
youth group (name of group __________)
trip to Israel
other __________

38. Which were positive formative experiences for you as a girl?
Hebrew school
Jewish summer camp
youth group (name of group __________)
trip to Israel
other __________

39. What areas should be addressed in programs for teen girls? (Please check your top three choices.)
mother/daughter relationships
academic stress/perfectionism
sports
self-defense
body image/eating disorder
“JAP” images and other negative stereotypes
Jewish texts
Jewish culture
social activities
intergroup relations (black-Jewish for instance)
Social action/tikkun olam
money
sex and dating
career goals
other __________

40. What’s the best program – ongoing or one-time – for teenage girls that you know of?
______________________________

Extra-Curriculars

41. Do you belong to any Jewish women’s organizations?
yes
no

42. If yes, which ones?
______________________________

43. Do you volunteer your time to (check all that apply)
general Jewish organizations
Jewish women’s organizations
general women’s organizations
other
n/a

44. Have you experienced sexist attitudes or incidents during your participation in Jewish organizations?
often
sometimes
never
n/a

45. What is your most significant free-time activity?
______________________________

On Lilith

46. Which articles in this issue did you read first?
______________________________

47. Are there subjects you would like to see covered in the future?______________________________

On Feminism

48. Do you consider yourself a feminist
yes, definitely
depends who’s asking
no

49. Do you consider the significant men in your life to be feminists?
yes
no
n/a

50. How do you express your feminism? (check all that apply)
I vote for women candidates
I mentor women/girls
I bring up my children with a feminist consciousness
I support feminist organizations financially
I volunteer at feminist organizations
In my attitude
I read LILITH
Other __________
I don’t

51. How do girls and young women generally react when you use the word “feminism”?
very positively
somewhat positively
neutral
somewhat negatively
very negatively
n/a

52. What do you think?
                                                                      strongly agree   agree   somewhat agree
                                                                somewhat disagree   disagree   strongly disagree
a. Women today have the opportunity
    to be equal with men in Jewish
    religious institutions/synagogue life.
b. Women today have the opportunity
    to be equal with men in the Jewish
    organizational world.
c. Women today have the opportunity
    to be equal with men in the working
    world.
d. Women today have the opportunity
    to be equal with men in the home.
e. Judaism can never overcome its
    patriarchal past.

The Way You Live

In the sometimes hectic pace of life, what do you have time for? We’re interested in your day-to-day activities.

53. Do you buy from mail order catalogues?
yes
no

54. Do you buy kosher food?
yes
no

55. What are your favorite magazines?
______________________________

56. Approximately how many books do you read a year?
1-20
21-40
more than 40

The Basic Bio

57. Age
_____

58. Gender
M
F

59. Educational level
__________

60. Employment status
employed full time
employed part time
unemployed
retired
a student
n/a

61. What is your household income?
under $25,000
$26,000-$50,000
$51,000-$100,000
over $100,000

Wanna Talk More?

Name __________

Phone __________

e-mail __________