Chelsea Clinton’s looming nuptial festivities have the gossip blogs in a tizzy: what’ll she wear to walk down the aisle? Can mixed-faith marriages work? Who’ll she invite to the ceremony? And, is she really going to convert? Angela Himsel has a few insights into what that might be like, from her frank Lilith article 10 years ago on “What Converts Talk About (When Jews Aren’t Around).” Can’t wait to hear what Chelsea has to say!
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Nothing New Under the Sun:
Chelsea Converts Lately?
Thursday, July 29th, 2010
A Voyeur’s Garb
Wednesday, June 9th, 2010I admit it–I’m an Orthodox voyeur (fetishist, you might call it). As in, I am guilty of a certain degree of exoticization of the Orthodox community. For a while, I was convinced that in spite of my relatively non-observant upbringing, I could become part of it (see “Pants Embargo, 2003-2005”). I was wholly unsuccessful at it- I didn’t become more religious, I just didn’t wear pants- although I think on the outside, people bought it. At least, they were quick to comment as soon as the jeans made a reappearance.
Some vestiges have remained, in the form of what I can describe as situations in which I feel like an anthropologist in communities that I am theoretically supposed to be a part of. Example most recent: the JOFA conference (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance). I love this space, every time it comes around, I rearrange things so I can go. It’s a strange place for me to find comfort and inspiration, because I often also feel insanely frustrated by what I perceive as collusion with a system that consistently, actively and aggressively subjugates and invisibilizes women.
I’ve been listening to the recordings of the sessions I didn’t attend while at the conference, and thinking about the creation of space as I do it. I thought a lot about what to wear this year. Ultimately, I wore a skirt, which in hindsight, I shouldn’t have done. I felt like I was in costume, undercover, but also, fake. With the exception of a few people I knew, everyone who saw me that day thought I was an Orthodox woman. In the past, I would have been okay with that, even grateful for the association, but no longer, because it’s not who I am, or who I ever was.
Ultimately, the genius of the JOFA project, whether purposeful or not, is the opportunity for ingathering of all different types of Jewish feminists, the welcoming of the lenses and the narratives. In doing so, we (okay, me) have to confront what we find most disturbing, meaningful and joyful about Judaism, as well as put our heads together to change it. It requires patience and commitment, but it also requires an unpacking of assumption-about Orthodoxy, Jewish women, Jewish communities, and ultimately, what it means to be Jewish ourselves.
-Chanel Dubofsky
Readers Respond! To “How 20-Somethings Mate Now”
Monday, May 10th, 2010Lilith has gotten many responses to our recent article on “How 20-Something Mate Now”. We’ve posted a few below, but we encourage you to leave your own thoughts as comments below!
“Your observation that the “normative Jewish experience” is generational is so true and I can actually extend that from my personal experience. My husband and I met at Brooklyn College through a group of all Jewish friends. I thought marrying him was free will too–I never realized the smallness of the world I was inhabiting. We separated almost two years ago and here I am–single in Austin, Texas. I have plenty of Jewish friends through my temple but a great majority of them are in interfaith marriages. The norm looks different in Austin, TX for my generation. And the world has opened up for me. I am in a deep and happy relationship with a wonderful kind man who is not Jewish. In fact, he is German. I too, am struggling with the questions these 20-somethings are asking. And, yes, at some point, I will write about it.” –Esther Moritz
“The piece you sent me is just fabulous! I had such a good time reading it and quickly sent it on to about 15 family and friends… I want [my daughter] to read it to hear those incredible girls you interviewed. They are amazing and you captured them perfectly! Thank you so much for sending it my way. It would actually be a really fun piece to read and discuss with the kids in her Temple High School. That’s a fun idea! I’ll let you know.” –Jenifer Firestone
“I thought your article in Lilith was an amazing article which in effect creates a language for the experience of seeking commonality with a partner on the issue of religion.
Lately because of my own relationship I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what is necessary for me in a relationship in the context of my own strong Jewish identity.
I am currently a member of a Modern Orthodox synagogue. When out of town, except for B’nai Jeshrun in NYC, I daven at modern orthodox congregations. In terms of practice, I am really more Conservadox. My girl friend of many years has decided after some effort that she is not into Orthodox Judaism and left to her own devices would rather go to an art museum on Shabbos than synagogue. So, I have been struggling with this issue.
I am friendly with a Chabbad rabbi in Brookline with whom I recently had an intriguing conversation. He said that having similar ritual practices is not important. Going to shul together is not important. He sees things through the prism of the Orthodox perspective where male and female roles legitimately differ. From his perspective, the most important thing is for both people to have a relationship with Ha’Shem though that relationship would obviously not be the same for each person. As I have reflected on this idea of both people having a relationship with Ha’Shem, it makes a lot of sense to me. This idea seems to track with many things that you are saying in your article.
One of the main things that I got from your article was the idea of the importance of each person having a religious “sensibility.” For my purposes, I would phrase this as each person having a Jewish sensibility. Having said this, I am not yet sure what this means. One possible explanation of this phrase that I gleaned from your article is: sharing a knowledge base about time and space that is Jewish – the lifecycle, holidays, history and having a framework to talk about these things. I also think that having a Jewish sensibility might also mean having a relationship with Ha’Shem. That relationship would lead to manifestations such as: caring about one’s Jewishness; having kavanah about one’s religious practice whatever that may be; seeking greater understanding over time of that relationship and how it plays out in the world through study of Jewish ethics, law, precepts of social justice and putting these into practice.
Your article has helped me move further in my thinking now with the advantage of having a richer language through which to consider the issue.
Thanks to your daughter and her friends and yourself for the experiences and thoughts shared in the article.” –Barry
“Greetings, and first off, a compliment. I just read “How Twenty-Somethings Mate Now” in Lilith and could not put it down. It was fascinating and provocative. I loved the way Susan Schnur used an oral history approach akin to Studs Terkel’s technique. And, I liked the way she gave her own succinct interpretation at the end. I was sad that these three young women grew up so immersed in Judaism and yet likely will end up without Jewish partners. Still, like Susan Schnur, I realize that they are not abandoning their faith.”
–Linda K. Wertheimer (Linda also wrote a response piece to this article, which you can read here.)
Chanukkah in the Diaspora
Monday, December 14th, 2009Every year, I look forward to my Channukah care package, when my mom and sister round up Channukah treats, toys, and decorations and send them to me. Here in Pocatello, Idaho, Channukah has to be imported in, or it basically doesn’t exist. Over the years, I’ve found the few local retailers who carry the precious treasures of dreidels (small, plastic, single-colored) and nonspecific chocolate coins, and I’ve built up my supply of Channukah candles in case there’s a year I can’t find any in town. And sometimes, for fun, I will walk in to the local stores, past the poinsettias and Christmas tree ornaments and ask where the Channukah section is, just to see the confused looks of the sales associates.
Friday, December 18th is Temple Emanuel’s Channukah party. We have menorahs, we have a latke buffet, we have games of dreidel, and as always, we have wine. The one thing Temple Emanuel does not have at the moment, as membership ebbs and flows in this rural community, are any children congregants. So we try and import those in for our Channukah celebration as well, drawing from friends and associates in the Pocatello community.
There are a few categories of non-Jewish people in this community who orbit the Jewish population during our major holidays. There are the non-Jews such as I remember growing up in the Chicago area—happy to be Christian (or Muslim, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or…), and progressive, intellectual, and curious enough to want to expand their knowledge of other faiths and cultures for what they are.
However, it seems in this area there are a disproportionate number of non-Jews who claim an affiliation and connection with the Jewish faith, such as Messianic Jews and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons, or LDS as the more politically-correct term).
Christianity is a mystery to me sometimes; especially knowing about such historic realities as the first Council of Nicaea and the Burning Times. And it’s a little unsettling to know how many local non-Jews want to claim some Judaism for their very own, in a town where the 10 commandments are on display on the courthouse lawn and the hot debate between “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” clogs up the local news outlets.
But, this is how December in the Diaspora works. This is one of the times of year I find there is a lot of explaining to do. Explaining why I don’t celebrate Christmas, and explaining why it’s not OK to assume everyone does. Sometimes I feel like a novelty act; sometimes I feel like an amused religious historian. And I do enjoy the opportunity to talk to other people about Channukah and other Jewish traditions. Even if I have to break out “The Jewish Book of Why,” or contact my sister Sara, a Jewish educator, to make sure I have everything straight.
So on December 18, I hope Temple Emanuel can once again gather a crowd, and give some local kids and adults the fun chance to light a menorah, play dreidel, and eat some latkes made from potatoes that have made this state famous. And I will be proudly wearing my mom’s handmade Channukah stocking cap, brand new from this year’s care package.
–Nancy Goodman
“Malka in the Promised Land”-The Lilith Fiction Podcast Series
Tuesday, December 8th, 2009The next installment of the Lilith Fiction Podcast series is here!
In “Malka in the Promised Land,” a young yeshiva girl breaks loose. The story, which first ran in the Winter 2002 issue of Lilith, was written by (now Rabbi) Danya Ruttenberg. “Malka in the Promised Land,” is read by Meredith Steinberg.
Plus, don’t forget: the Lilith podcasts are available through iTunes (just click here to launch it), where you can sign up to receive each new podcast automatically! If you’re playing this on your browser window, don’t worry if it takes a few moments to load.
“Pri Chadash”–The Lilith Fiction Podcast Series
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009The next installment of the Lilith Fiction Podcast series is here!
In “Pri Chadash,” a young woman marks a year through food. The story, which first ran in the Summer 2007 issue of Lilith, was written by Darya Mattes. “Pri Chadash” is read by Melanie Weiss.
Plus, don’t forget: the Lilith podcasts are available through iTunes (just click here to launch it), where you can sign up to receive each new podcast automatically! If you’re playing this on your browser window, don’t worry if it takes a few moments to load.
The Fall Issue is Out!
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009Please leave your thoughts, comments, questions and more as comments below!
Get More Lilith!
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009To bring you more Lilith online, Lilith’s website needs your support now.
The nonprofit Lilith magazine brings you dispatches from the front lines of Jewish feminism, like the “Jewish hair” issue, JAP-baiting on campus, how Jewish women handle money, life stories of transgender Jews, teen sex at bar & bat mitzvah parties, the stained-glass ceiling for women rabbis, what converts talk about when others aren’t around, the how-to of feminist funerals and much, much more.
What’s coming next? You’re going to get more of Lilith’s unique content, plus more ways of connecting to Lilith: podcasts, blog posts, videos, interacting with other Lilith readers and change-makers.
But we can’t do this without your help.
There are two ways you can be Lilith’s partner in bringing you more:
1) Donate to this new campaign for a better website. See a list of what your contribution buys, bringing you more of the Lilith you love, online–including web-only interviews, back stories, podcasts, videocasts, digitized back issues of Lilith, more bloggers, and much more.
2) Help spread the word! Pass the link to this page to your friends, your family, and all the smart Jewish feminists you know! Plus, pick up the html code for the fund raiser’s badge and post it to your own website, blog, and Facebook page.
Thank you for helping Lilith grow!
Get More Lilith Thermometer & Badge
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009Please spread the word about our campaign by putting a thermometer or badge on your site!
Thermometer
The best way to spread the word about our campaign, this thermometer will update with the current total automatically.
Copy & Paste the following embed code:
Badge
Alternatively, post a badge to show your support.
Copy & Paste the following embed code:
Share your thoughts on the summer issue
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009The summer issue is up! Share your thoughts and responses below.