Karen Paul


A Year of Flying in the Face of Grief 

I have always been a rules follower. An oldest child, I was keenly aware of the need to behave—in school, at home, in the world. As a little girl, I obeyed “No Trespassing” signs…even on my grandfather’s property. Even at my most rebellious, in college, when I spent a lot of time looking for love and solace in the all the wrong places, I did so quietly and sedately, without causing much scrutiny. I smiled nicely in the workplace when men commented on my body, and never lashed out at street harassment. I got my education, got married, bought a house, had my children, in that order.

Continue reading this article…

Already a subscriber? Log in above to keep reading. Or subscribe now for immediate access to the complete digital and print editions, plus exclusive online access to Lilith's back issues.

  • Christy Zink

    Beautiful. Bravery, in all the ways grief requires, and in none of the ways they tell you to do it.

  • elanahope

    What a gorgeous essay